Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Work today has been dreary. Answered a couple of calls about the KUG (Kids-Up Grant) subsidy, screened through four application forms and faxed three documents. I was left with practically nothing to do for nearly the whole day (how long would it take one to do all those trivial tasks anyway? No prizes for guessing the correct answer.)
At least colleague relationships have...improved, I would say. Most probably because the new temp staff have been around for 2 weeks, so we have had some time to adjust to each other. Hopefully everything will go back to normal pretty soon and we can all chat and laugh like old friends, like the way my ex-colleagues and I used to. I can't wait for that day to arrive!
My supervisor was talking to me about the list of possibilities if I did not make it into University, and she gave me something to think about when she asked,"Why not continue working here as a permanent staff and apply for part-time courses at SIM?" I was sorely tempted to do so, since I would still be raking in a steady income and studying at the same time. But I had missed out the fact that juggling between a job and classes is tough, and I wasn't sure if I could handle the stress and responsibilities. Especially since I would be working from morning till 6 in the evening. It is easy to suffer a complete burnout from all the rushing.
It is frightening to read the accounts of those who have undergone such mental torture...they hallucinate, sink into depression and become suicidal. Most, if not all, of them mention the utter terror of hopelessness, and how they felt that no one could help them. It is a long road to recovery for the victims of a burnout.
Health is wealth, or so the saying goes. It's ok to focus on achieving your goals in life, to be passionate and determined in the process. However, if they come at the expense of your own health, then it's not worth it. No matter how great the reward, how large the satisfaction, it is all meaningless if you end up sacrificing your well-being for them. Because we are fortunate enough to experience the joy of living, and thus we must rely on ourselves to sustain the rhythm of the heartbeat within us.
At least colleague relationships have...improved, I would say. Most probably because the new temp staff have been around for 2 weeks, so we have had some time to adjust to each other. Hopefully everything will go back to normal pretty soon and we can all chat and laugh like old friends, like the way my ex-colleagues and I used to. I can't wait for that day to arrive!
My supervisor was talking to me about the list of possibilities if I did not make it into University, and she gave me something to think about when she asked,"Why not continue working here as a permanent staff and apply for part-time courses at SIM?" I was sorely tempted to do so, since I would still be raking in a steady income and studying at the same time. But I had missed out the fact that juggling between a job and classes is tough, and I wasn't sure if I could handle the stress and responsibilities. Especially since I would be working from morning till 6 in the evening. It is easy to suffer a complete burnout from all the rushing.
It is frightening to read the accounts of those who have undergone such mental torture...they hallucinate, sink into depression and become suicidal. Most, if not all, of them mention the utter terror of hopelessness, and how they felt that no one could help them. It is a long road to recovery for the victims of a burnout.
Health is wealth, or so the saying goes. It's ok to focus on achieving your goals in life, to be passionate and determined in the process. However, if they come at the expense of your own health, then it's not worth it. No matter how great the reward, how large the satisfaction, it is all meaningless if you end up sacrificing your well-being for them. Because we are fortunate enough to experience the joy of living, and thus we must rely on ourselves to sustain the rhythm of the heartbeat within us.
5/20/2008 08:54:00 pm
